SHAYARIES PART II

Tumhe jahan se mitaana chaaha par mitaa na saka,
Itni shidat se to yaad khud ko bhi mai aa na saka.

Aankho mai chhupaya tumko har gam se bacha k
Ashq apne ranjish-e-gam mai bhi mai baha na saka

Nazar na lag jaaye jamaane ki, chhupaya palko mai,
Ab chahkar bhi tere didaar ka luft mai uthaa na saka

Mehfil mai teri maujud the kitne haseen chahere
Ek tu hi dil mai mere, kahi aur dil mai laga na saka

Raat ko rahnuma kar, chalta raha teri talaash mai
Nind khwaabo ke liye bhi tere mai bacha na saka

Gher liya hai mujhko mere gam ke andhero ne aise,
Panne the teri yaado ke magar mai jalaa na saka

Besabab nahi thi dil ki bekarari, meri mahobbat,
Dil-e-Betaab ka ye haal tumko bhi mai bataa na saka

Ab jalta hu aatish-e-ishq mai tu na jale khuda kare
Aag barso ki lagi sine mai jise mai bujhaa na saka

Rabri Devis visit to heaven

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, “What are all those clocks?
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?” …..
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Whose clock is that?”…….
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.
Rabri asked, “Where’s my darling Laloo’s clock?”
“Laloo”s clock is in my office”, replied St.Peter, guess why?
“I’m using it as a ceiling fan.” ..!!!

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Conversation with god….

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Allah to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down…
But never found the time"

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The Call Center

People wonder why the Call Center guys are paid. So much. For just being on the phone. 
Take a look:

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No…"

Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?!%#$(well pretend to smile)

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one." 

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

Laugh! All the way!

An Indian traveling in an Air India flight suddenly belched, "Baaaae…"
The American lady who was on the next seat was irritated and asked, "What
is this?" He replied, "Air Indiaaa…"

After performing a long surgery the doctor was relaxing. A nurse came to
doctor with a pale face and told: "Doctor, I left my wallet in patient's stomach during the operation!" 
Doctor: "Don't worry, you will get it tomorrow during the postmortem".

Rajani is the wife of a film actor. Her friend asked Rajani: "You don't look upset at all after hearing the news of your 
husband's car accident".
Rajani told: "How would I cry until I know whether it is the Original or Dupe?"

Patient: "Doctor, my problem is now lack of memory. I forget everything. Now when I was coming by bus, I bought 
ticket twice.
Doctor: "Don't worry…. You just think that I am always with you".
Patient: "That's why I took two tickets".

God made Earth and rested,
God made man and rested,
God made woman, and since then neither God nor man rested

SHAYARIES PART 1

be dardo se pyaar na karo ki roti rahegi ki ankhiya…………kisi ka ab aitbaar na karo ki roti rahegi ankhiya……………….be dardo se pyaar na karo…………! iss bheed me tanha firoge…diwaro se baate karoge………ki roti rahegi ankhiya,jab yaad hamari tume aayegi har baat tujhe tadpyegi….jina dushwar na karo ki roti rahegi ankhiya……….be dardo se pyaar na karo,ho jaaye aghar pyaar jo kisi se, karna na geela zindagi se….ki roti rahegi ankhiya…..ek din chale jaoge akele hum yuhi rahenge akele…………jeena azar na karo ki roti rahegi ankhiya………. Ghani raat ke niche sula ke chod gaya ,ajeeb shaks tha sapne dikha ke chod gaya…

Yeh ujhda ghar to usi ek ki nishani he……….jo apne naam ki takhti lagake chod gaya, khofe ruswayi se darta he who bhi shaks jo apna naam takhti pe na chod gaya.

 Tere dil me aarzoo ki shama na jal pade itna na satao ki aansu nikal pade……..fir kis tarah kare koi izhaar-e-arzoo jab iltaja se tere maathe par bal pade. A chand humne tujhe banake gawah apna………….haseen raat me mohabbaat ki umeed ki thi hamesha saath rahe wafa ki raho me ikraar,uthake haath khuda se yahi dua ki thi……Chanda tu to gawah he mere pyaar ka mujhe haal bata ja mere yaar ka……………huye nadiya kinare… sitare jawaan pyaar ke hamare………..tute dil ke sahare yaad aaye who nazaare…..chanda tu to gawah he mere pyaar ka………….jise me khwabo me pau…..use kese bhulau………me to khud ko mitau kahi mar hi na jau……..chanda tu to gawah he mere pyaar ka………..use mene andhere me dhunda use mene roshni se pucha, mujhe kuch na bataya mene teri chandni se pucha………..chanda tu to gawah he mere pyaar ka mujhe haal bata ja mere pyaar ka…………chanda jaye tu waha pe to kehna mere pyaar se tujhe tera pyaar  bulaye….chanda tu to gawah he mere pyaar ka………….. Tod dala humne nata saari kayenaat se……..humne khud hi apni hasti mita di apne haath se……………..

KBC 2 Ultimate Challenge!

Amitabh: Apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.

Amitabh: Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan ON Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Azaruddin D. General Perverz Musharaff.

Amitabh: Apka kya jawab hai ? (He is quite sure that Santa will opt for A) But Santa is still confused.
Amitabh: Apke pas do life line hai.50:50 and phone a friend.
Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.
Amitabh: Not sure… Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?
Santa: I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer, 2 galat javabo ko mita de..Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azharuddin.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake but as is said in boll wood the 
show must go on.
Now Santa is confused.

Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh: Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Santa: "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga…."

Amitabh Fainted!!!!!

“ WHAT IS LOVE ”

“ WHAT IS LOVE ”Love begins with a smile…!
Endures with happiness…!
And dies with a tear…!!

When it hurts to look back and…!
I am scared to look ahead…!
I just look beside me and…!
I know you'll be there…!
Because we love each other…!
Far more than love itself…

You care for me in all the ways…!
I want and need so much…!
I have felt your warmth and tenderness with every word and touch…!

Your love is the song in my heart…!
The sunshine in my sky…!
The promise of my world…!
The center of my universe…!!

Roses are red…! And sky is blue…!
But you don't know…! How much I LOVE U…!!

Sometimes you have not even begun to speak, and I am at the end to what you are saying. 

I promised my Heart…that this was the last time…!
I would hurt it…and you came along…Again I broke a promise…!

As long as I have waited…. and as long as I know…that I will wait.
I still can’t seem to change…how I feel for you.

For it was not into my ear you whispered…but my heart…!
it was not my feelings you played…it was my soul!!

Sometimes I wonder what…life would be like if I never meet you…
because one year down the line…I have never loved anybody else…
as much as I love you…I love you more than life itself.

Only true Love understands…The Language Of Our Eyes…
Only True Love knows when…These Eyes Hide The Tears…
Deep Within And How To…Make These Tears Die!!

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone…an hour to like someone…!
And a day to love someone…!
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone…!

When your heart bleeds tears. Then you will know it is love…

I love my love…but…I know my love doesn't love me.

Valentine's day is a wonderful…way to make I Love you easy to say.

LOVE IS STRONG…LOVE IS SWEET…!
WHEN TWO HEARTS MEET…LOVE IS COMPLETE…
Life is a 'Flower'…For which Love is the 'Honey'.

You are my dear…together we have nothing to fear…!
For together we will always be… I'm so lucky if you chose me…!
My heart forever will be true…!
I think…I'm in LOVE with you..!!

God has given us 24 hours to spend a day…!
8 hours to sleep, 8 hours to work and 8 hours to spent time with our family…!
But I spend the 24 hours thinking of you…!!

When a person falls in love, He accepts the impossibilities…!!!

Shortest word is I.
Sweetest word is LOVE.
Cutest person is U.

If you really love to someone…
Then always wait for him / her till sun and moon finish.

Love is the answer that every one seeks.
Love is the language that every heart speaks.

Forgive my eyes for admiring you…you stole my heart…!
From the moment you looked at me…call me crazy, call me insane…!
Each time my heart beats…it calls out your name…!!

WHEN LOVE IS NOT MADNESS…IT IS NOT LOVE!!"

Nature can forget Roses…And Roses can forget Dew…
But, never ever think…That I can forget you…!!

Before meeting you I was nothing…!
You taught me everything…!
Now I have become something…!
But I need you and your love in each and in every moment of my life…!!

L Before O, And V Before E.
That is the relation between U and ME.

Misers Love Money…Flowers Love Dew…Bees Love Honey…!
As I love You…!!

The ring is round…It has no end …!
And My Love for you…will never end…!!

Sun shines in the day…Moonshines in the night…!
But you shine in my heart every day and night…!!

For the world, you are someone…But for someone you are the world…!!

L – LOYALTY TOWARDS ONE'S FEELING.
O – OUTLIVING RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO SOULS.
V – VALUABLE GIFT OF GOD.
E – EVERGREEN FEELINGS OF ONE'S HEART.

Some broken hearts never mend…!
Some memories never end…!
Some tears will never dry…!
But my love for you never dies…!!

Start the day with love…!
Spend the day with love…!
Fill the day with love…!
That must be the way you love…!!

I love dreaming…Because I am being loved in my dreams…!!

If one should love…They should love you for what you are…!!

Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship – NEVER…!!

Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it…!!

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules…! Then you must forget the rules and play from your heart…!! Immature Love says: I Love you because I need you.
Mature Love says: I need you because I Love you…!!

Your love is the song in my heart.
The sunshine in my sky.
The promise of my world.
The center of my universe…!!

Written in pen
Sealed with a kiss
If you love me, please answer this:

Do you love me or do you not?
You told me once, but I forgot,
so tell me now and tell me true,
so I can tell you…I Love You!
Of all the girls I've ever met,
you are the one I won't forget.
And if I die before you do,
I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
If you are not there by Judgment Day,
I'll know you went the other way.
I'll give the angels back their wings,
and risk the loss of everything.
Just to prove my love is true,
I'll go to hell, just to be with you..!!

What is love without two people in it?
What is a world with out people?
What am I without you?
I love and miss you.

The essential sadness is to go through life without loving.
But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you love.

If you love something set it free.
if it returns it was meant to be.
if it does not then it was never yours to begin with.

"If a hug represented how much I loved you…!
I would hold you in my arms forever…!!

We do not love people because they are beautiful,
But they seem beautiful to us because we love them…!

Love cannot be explained…
It can only be experienced…!

I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love…!!

When you say, "I love you", mean it…!!

Believe in love at first sight…!!

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
But it's the only way to live life completely…!!
True Love is like ghosts which everyone talks about…
but few have seen…!!!!

We can’t really love anybody,
with whom we never laugh.
Once U can laugh..U can Love…!!

Never Let Love gets the best of you…!
But U should always try to get the…
BEST OF LOVE…!!

If U have the courage to love…!
You have the courage to suffer…!!!

Love is seeing Yourself in someone's eyes
And finding yourself in Somebody's heart…!!!

Love is when you take away
the feeling, the passion, the romance..
and you find out..
you still care for the person…!!

When God met George Bush, Michael Gorbachev and Bill Gates

God was looking down on earth one day and decided that things were not going to get better, in fact they were getting worse every day. He said to himself 
that it is time to start over again with a new batch who might be able to do better than this bunch of humans are doing. So he called up three men, George 
Bush, Bill Gates and Michael Gorbachev. They are the three best media for getting his message across. He told that he was disappointed with mankind
as it is and that he was going to destroy the earth in 30 days. They had to go back to earth and tell everyone this message.

George Bush called a press conference and said I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that our belief in God is true; I met with 
him this morning. And the bad news is that he will destroy the earth in 30 days. 

Michael Gorbachev went back to his people and told them he had some bad news and some really bad news. First the bad news, our denial of God is not 
true, there is a God and I met with him this morning. The really bad news is that he is going to destroy the earth and we only have 30 days to repent. 

Bill Gates went back to his people and told them that he had some good news and some great news. First the good news is that our belief in God is 
founded, I had a talk with him this morning and the really great news is that we will be able to stop releasing security patches for WindowsXP in less than a 
month!

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