Archive for April, 2006

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SHAYARIES PART II

27 04pmSat, 29 Apr 2006 14:51:05 +00002006-04-29T14:51:05+00:0002 2006

Tumhe jahan se mitaana chaaha par mitaa na saka,
Itni shidat se to yaad khud ko bhi mai aa na saka.

Aankho mai chhupaya tumko har gam se bacha k
Ashq apne ranjish-e-gam mai bhi mai baha na saka

Nazar na lag jaaye jamaane ki, chhupaya palko mai,
Ab chahkar bhi tere didaar ka luft mai uthaa na saka

Mehfil mai teri maujud the kitne haseen chahere
Ek tu hi dil mai mere, kahi aur dil mai laga na saka

Raat ko rahnuma kar, chalta raha teri talaash mai
Nind khwaabo ke liye bhi tere mai bacha na saka

Gher liya hai mujhko mere gam ke andhero ne aise,
Panne the teri yaado ke magar mai jalaa na saka

Besabab nahi thi dil ki bekarari, meri mahobbat,
Dil-e-Betaab ka ye haal tumko bhi mai bataa na saka

Ab jalta hu aatish-e-ishq mai tu na jale khuda kare
Aag barso ki lagi sine mai jise mai bujhaa na saka

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Rabri Devis visit to heaven

27 04amSat, 22 Apr 2006 07:05:53 +00002006-04-22T07:05:53+00:0007 2006

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, “What are all those clocks?
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?” …..
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Whose clock is that?”…….
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.
Rabri asked, “Where’s my darling Laloo’s clock?”
“Laloo”s clock is in my office”, replied St.Peter, guess why?
“I’m using it as a ceiling fan.” ..!!!

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Protected: Funny But Interesting….

27 04amWed, 19 Apr 2006 11:06:19 +00002006-04-19T11:06:19+00:0011 2006

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Conversation with god….

27 04amMon, 17 Apr 2006 11:35:56 +00002006-04-17T11:35:56+00:0011 2006

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Allah to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down…
But never found the time"

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Protected: The_Art_Of_Fucking

27 04pmMon, 03 Apr 2006 18:46:00 +00002006-04-03T18:46:00+00:0006 2006

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The Call Center

27 04pmSat, 01 Apr 2006 13:12:02 +00002006-04-01T13:12:02+00:0001 2006

People wonder why the Call Center guys are paid. So much. For just being on the phone. 
Take a look:

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No…"

Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?!%#$(well pretend to smile)

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one." 

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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Laugh! All the way!

27 04pmSat, 01 Apr 2006 13:09:51 +00002006-04-01T13:09:51+00:0001 2006

An Indian traveling in an Air India flight suddenly belched, "Baaaae…"
The American lady who was on the next seat was irritated and asked, "What
is this?" He replied, "Air Indiaaa…"

After performing a long surgery the doctor was relaxing. A nurse came to
doctor with a pale face and told: "Doctor, I left my wallet in patient's stomach during the operation!" 
Doctor: "Don't worry, you will get it tomorrow during the postmortem".

Rajani is the wife of a film actor. Her friend asked Rajani: "You don't look upset at all after hearing the news of your 
husband's car accident".
Rajani told: "How would I cry until I know whether it is the Original or Dupe?"

Patient: "Doctor, my problem is now lack of memory. I forget everything. Now when I was coming by bus, I bought 
ticket twice.
Doctor: "Don't worry…. You just think that I am always with you".
Patient: "That's why I took two tickets".

God made Earth and rested,
God made man and rested,
God made woman, and since then neither God nor man rested