Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

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CONECTION BETWEEN LOVE AND VODAFONE

27 03pmSat, 22 Mar 2008 18:50:18 +00002008-03-22T18:50:18+00:0006 2006

Very Shocking…..

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in
Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.
You used to be never found without her without handphone. In fact she also
changed her cell connection from Airtel to Vodafone, so that both of them can
be on the same network, and save on the cost.

She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.
Priya’s family knew about their relationship Shankar was very close to
Priya’s family as well. (Just imagine their
love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends “If I pass away
please burn me with my handphone” she also said the same thing to her
parents.

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so
but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the
same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who
can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.

After a few minutes, he said “this girl misses something here.” Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily
and they then carried her into the van.

Al of us were shocked. Priya’s parents did not inform Shankar that Priya
had passed away.

After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya’s mom…..

Shankar :….”Aunty, I’m coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Don’t tell Priya that I’m coming home today, I wanna surprise her.”
Her mother replied….. “You come home first, I wanna tell you something
very important.”

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said “don’t try to fool
me – tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this
nonsense”.

Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He
said… “Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.

Suddenly, Shankar’s phone rang. “see this is from Priya, see this….”
he showed the phone to priya’ family. all of them told him to answer. he
talked using the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.

It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim
card since it is nailed inside the grave box

They were so shocked and asked
for the same person’s
(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.

He & his master

worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them…

Vodafone has the best coverage.

Where ever you go, our network follows!!!”

Don’t shout at me I am also looking for the person who has sent me this
mail….so what you can do…you should also forward this mail to all your
nears and dears…and enjoy…like i enjoyed.
 HAHAHAHAHA. 

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A family in Gujarat was…..

27 08pmFri, 18 Aug 2006 18:26:57 +00002006-08-18T18:26:57+00:0006 2006

A  family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother  arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead
body  was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her
brothers  and sisters:

 Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Mohan and Varsha, I am sending Ba’s (Mother’s) body to you, since it was her wish that she should
be  cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT . Sorry, I could  not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
 You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s (Mother’s) body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of   Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (Almonds). Please divide these  among all of you.On Ba’s feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan.There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi ‘s sons Hope the  sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves.The 2 new Jeans that Ba’s is wearing are for the boys.The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist.
Shanta masi (Aunty), Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked  for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Smita
PS: And if anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji ( Mother) is also not  feeling too well nowadays…

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Tit Bits to laugh

27 07pmTue, 18 Jul 2006 13:06:49 +00002006-07-18T13:06:49+00:0001 2006

What is the diffrence between stress, tension & panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girl friend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Sardar told his girl friend “Darling come to my house today night nobody will be there.” 
She said OK I would. At night girlfriend went to Sardar’s house and nobody was there!!!

Postman: I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This packet
Siddis : Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….

Siddis found the answer to the most difficult question ever -What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Siddis told his servant : Go and water the plants.
Servant: It”s already raining.
Siddis : So what take an umbrella and go.

Siddis was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Siddis: Why all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Siddis: If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

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Rabri Devis visit to heaven

27 04amSat, 22 Apr 2006 07:05:53 +00002006-04-22T07:05:53+00:0007 2006

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, “What are all those clocks?
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?” …..
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Whose clock is that?”…….
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.
Rabri asked, “Where’s my darling Laloo’s clock?”
“Laloo”s clock is in my office”, replied St.Peter, guess why?
“I’m using it as a ceiling fan.” ..!!!

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The Call Center

27 04pmSat, 01 Apr 2006 13:12:02 +00002006-04-01T13:12:02+00:0001 2006

People wonder why the Call Center guys are paid. So much. For just being on the phone. 
Take a look:

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No…"

Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?!%#$(well pretend to smile)

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one." 

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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Laugh! All the way!

27 04pmSat, 01 Apr 2006 13:09:51 +00002006-04-01T13:09:51+00:0001 2006

An Indian traveling in an Air India flight suddenly belched, "Baaaae…"
The American lady who was on the next seat was irritated and asked, "What
is this?" He replied, "Air Indiaaa…"

After performing a long surgery the doctor was relaxing. A nurse came to
doctor with a pale face and told: "Doctor, I left my wallet in patient's stomach during the operation!" 
Doctor: "Don't worry, you will get it tomorrow during the postmortem".

Rajani is the wife of a film actor. Her friend asked Rajani: "You don't look upset at all after hearing the news of your 
husband's car accident".
Rajani told: "How would I cry until I know whether it is the Original or Dupe?"

Patient: "Doctor, my problem is now lack of memory. I forget everything. Now when I was coming by bus, I bought 
ticket twice.
Doctor: "Don't worry…. You just think that I am always with you".
Patient: "That's why I took two tickets".

God made Earth and rested,
God made man and rested,
God made woman, and since then neither God nor man rested

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KBC 2 Ultimate Challenge!

27 04amSat, 01 Apr 2006 08:36:05 +00002006-04-01T08:36:05+00:0008 2006

Amitabh: Apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.

Amitabh: Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan ON Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Azaruddin D. General Perverz Musharaff.

Amitabh: Apka kya jawab hai ? (He is quite sure that Santa will opt for A) But Santa is still confused.
Amitabh: Apke pas do life line hai.50:50 and phone a friend.
Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.
Amitabh: Not sure… Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?
Santa: I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer, 2 galat javabo ko mita de..Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: –
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azharuddin.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake but as is said in boll wood the 
show must go on.
Now Santa is confused.

Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh: Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Santa: "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga…."

Amitabh Fainted!!!!!